Grief Break

Update from a very hard season

Dear Reader,

In March I lost my stepfather, who has been in my life since I was twelve and has filled the role of father for me ever since.

He and my mother had just moved to California in August. Phil was 91 and had been losing ground since a cancer diagnosis two and a half years ago, but I was still so happy to have him here and be able to show him all the glories of California. The birds! The weather! The bakeries! The beautiful grandson playing baseball and practical jokes.

Papa’s sudden decline at the end felt shocking and also inevitable. My mother and I cared for him at home and shepherded him through his final days, hours, moments. He died in our arms.

It has been about a month now and I feel absolutely adrift.

Reader, I miss you dearly and I miss the ritual of coming to this place and telling you the story of my life. But right now I don’t have words for any of it.

My responsibility to this project and to you has been weighing heavily on me. If you need to cancel or pause your paid subscription I completely understand. However, I think that for now I need to give myself over to the process of grieving and take a break.

I’ll miss you and I’ll be back.

All my love,

Kate